The secrets that make men out of control
When Dou Wei caused a fire to a car, many people were shocked.
How could it be him?
It is said that women are emotional animals and men are rational animals, but once men become emotional, they are no less inferior to women.
In fact, they may not have the reason we imagine.
Those out-of-control factors are hidden beneath their appearance, and we can get a glimpse of them just by scrutinizing them.
1. One-night stand of a good man The scene of a man: He is a good husband in the eyes of his wife, and a good dad in the eyes of his children.
He is gentle, considerate, cares for the family, and even maintains the habit of paying wages on time, which is rare today.
He likes walking with his wife after dinner. He doesn’t have any romantic affairs. From the perspective of others, he is a good man who can hardly find a lantern.
But once on a business trip, his friends encouraged him to find a girl to be happy.
Those buddies are holding each other right and left. He originally wanted to resist, but felt that he was very shameless, so he didn’t look like a man.
The point is that the bewildered young lady looks like a snake-like temptation. He couldn’t help but be a little seductive, and as a result, he went to her bed.
That was the first time he was derailed, and the only time. Afterwards, his wife did not believe it anyway. How could such a thing happen to her decent husband.
The secret of his out of control: Why is a so-called good man still looking for a lady?
This has something to do with men’s prostitute culture.
A survey by sociologists found that some men did not want to be lost in a sensual place, but if his buddies did it, he did not do it, which would make him feel pressure: first, he was not like a man-Most men regard this behavior as a sign of masculinity; the second is that he feels a sense of loneliness. He doesn’t want to leave the circle of his buddies because of his indifference, or be looked down upon by his buddies–manMost afraid of being abandoned by his group.
The loss of control in the sensual scene is also related to the man’s detachment from his wife and some moral monitoring.
Once a man is separated from a familiar environment, his so-called indulgence consciousness is particularly strong.
This is why most men on business trips tend to get out of control.
2. Good gentleman’s rude man scene: He is widely recognized as a representative model of a gentleman, as follows; he will always considerately drive the door for her when she gets off the car.
He would dress neatly even if he dine in the wild. He graduated from a prestigious school, his father was a high-ranking cadre of a ministry, and his mother was a famous lady. When she decided to marry him, she saw this.
But one day, she witnessed his performance in irritability, which surprised her, and she did not expect “the gentleman is crazy”.
Such men will also have swear words at some point.
It was a crossing, it was about to pass a red light, the car suddenly grabbed the road, he came to an emergency brake, it seemed unconscious, he yelled at the driver who was going away, without scruples, like an uneducated AmericanCowboy.
She was puzzled, why would a gentleman like him curse too much?
His runaway secret: Samantha in Sex and the City once felt like trying to have sex with a gentleman.
She thought that the gentleman must be polite and gentle when making love, but did not expect that the other person would suddenly yell at her after going to bed.
This surprised Samantha, but the other side was very sexually excited.
Why do the most gentleman men say swear when they lose control?
A look at the typical representative of the swear culture of the American West cowboy can explore the reason.
Those cowboys like to show their masculinity by swearing, and so are men in secular life.
A gentleman, profanity is proof that his masculine cultural gene has always been hidden in his heart. Although this gene is suppressed by the efforts to be a gentleman, once it seizes the opportunity, it breaks the cocoon andOut.
3, the scene of his violent man: he is a university professor and knowledgeable.
No one can imagine that he could be associated with domestic violence, but one day, he hit his wife and shot very hard.
It was an ordinary quarrel, and his wife blamed him for coming home too late.
He had originally acknowledged his mistake, but in his later words, “the wife is a bit irrational.”
Their quarrel escalated step by step. At first he had been tolerant, but later he felt that there was no other way. The way to keep his wife shut is to use force. He hit her and slapped him, both of them were shocked.
His wife did not expect that he would hit himself, and he did not even think that when he was a child, he hated his father’s domestic violence the most. After being a husband himself, he actually repeated his father’s old path.
His runaway secret: Why do good men also use force in family disputes?It should be said that many men must have hated these acts of violence after seeing their father’s violence against their mothers as a child.
But as adults, they continue to repeat themselves unconsciously.
Psychological theory believes that this is because the more they grow up in an environment that lacked love since childhood, the less they learn to resolve disputes with peaceful love.
In peace, they may suppress their violent impulse, they warn themselves; it is wrong to hit his wife, which will make others hate themselves even more.
But subconsciously, they still feel that violence is the best way to solve problems.
Although many men who have experienced violence report that they did not believe they would do such a thing after their first punch.
4. He suddenly burst into tears at the scene of many people ‘s faces: he was a strong man, a tough guy in the eyes of everyone.
He is the Chinese version of Schwarzenegger and is indestructible.
He is the chairman of a company and his employees have never seen him cry.
In his eyes, tears are a sign of weakness.
He hates emotions and thinks that only a deep, stern man is like a good man.
But one day, he suddenly burst into tears in front of many people’s faces. It was a regular company meeting. During the meeting, his secretary came in suddenly and whispered a message to him.
The secretary’s words had just finished, and tears burst into his eyes. In front of the crowd, he did not hesitate to cry.
His expression frightened everyone.
They later learned that the secretary brought the misfortune of his grandmother’s tragic death.
At that moment, his true feelings were revealed, and the veiled sadness made him cry.
The secret of his loss of control: Too many theories make men not to shed tears easily. Over time, men themselves think that shed tears is not a man’s performance.
Like a pussy, they look down on the man who shed tears.
Society teaches that men should be serious and deep, and men are also restraining themselves according to such norms.
But such a standard gradually makes men seem to have lost their feelings and become free of living flesh and blood.
In fact, after all, he is a flesh-and-blood person who needs to express his true feelings, so once he encounters something that touches the critical point of his emotions, he may cry uncontrollably.
This kind of out of control is a good thing. To some extent, this kind of out of control can make a man more amiable, and also make his mood more healthy after venting his emotions.Most people are short.
5. He suddenly didn’t want to work for a man on the scene: this is one thing that happened in the United States: he was a bus driver and worked hard for most of his life.
To everyone, he loves work and is a model worker.
For decades, he has been weathering his route.
But one day, he made amazing weightlifting: for the first time, he didn’t follow the original route, he threw away the passengers in reverse, drove the car to a small river, and came towards the bee.Media reporter, he is proud of being in: he hates standard and immutability, and feels that he finally lives for himself today.
Is there a lot in his life like this bus driver?
One day, he suddenly dropped his hand and didn’t want to work. He wanted to resign and want to go to Tibet to play. In short, he was like a urchin, suddenly throwing away all the responsibilities on his body, abandoning his family, his wife, children, and children.
The secret of his out of control: men are tired, old and young, so from his youth, he may have no self, he gave up ideals and passion, and lived for the word “responsibility”.
For the sake of responsibility, he looks hard at work, but actually desires more freedom, relaxation and freedom.
The so-called object must be reversed. The heavier the responsibility and the burden on the body, the stronger the depressed self and the resistance. We often see this typically in middle-aged men.
In a study analyzing why middle-aged executives in IT industry have switched jobs, experts say that this is exactly how middle-aged men are eager to return to themselves.
He was tired for responsibility.
One day, he suddenly behaved like an adolescent, wayward, out of control child.
He is going to look for the dream when he was young. He wants to get rid of his responsibility and relax. His loss of control is an outburst of stress. At this time, as a wife, he does not prevent him from forgiving him. Give him support as appropriate.
6, he suddenly at the wine table unreasonable man scene: a group of friends party, he drank too much.
Every time only she knew that he drank too much, not only loved accidents, but also hurt his body.
So she went to persuade him.
But men all like to borrow wine and pride, after three glasses of wine went down, he launched a wine crazy, he had to compare the amount of wine with his buddies.
Girlfriends advised her to control her husband. She couldn’t face her girlfriend without face, so she took her husband’s wine glass and stopped him from drinking.Her actions made his buddies coax for a while, saying that he was afraid of his wife.
Man husband, the most important thing is face, how can he lose face in front of buddies?
He wanted to drink by the strength of the wine, not only to drink, but to push her away with one hand, so that she did not worry.
The result is conceivable. She and he are better at it. One wants to take the other’s wine glass and prove her “tamer skills.” One wants to win back the right to drink. It proves the dignity of men.The crowd made a noise, and the amazing scene happened, and he yelled at her, “You get me!